When All Hope Was Lost
by Fiery-Firefly
Summary: Spirit knew that after screwing things with Kami he wouldn't find love again. That was until he found himself in a new and quite complicate romance. Will Spirit give love another chance without feeling he betrays Maka? How will Maka react to it? SpXOc MxS
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Soul Eater character; neither I make any profit with this story. All the praise and glory belongs to Atsushi Ookubo for creating such a wonderful story!

Author's note: Just for you to know, I'm not a native English speaker, so I apologize for any mistakes I do xD

WARNING: Lime alert in this chapter! The story is rated M for a reason.

* * *

He thought he would never feel like this. Not again, and definitely not him: he did not deserved it. Not after what he had done, and how he had hurt the two most important people in the world for him.

He still couldn't forgive himself for how things ended with his wife; oh, right, his _ex_-wife.

But what really hurt, what was killing him inside since the moment in which the word _divorce_ escaped the _former _love of his life's lips, was that his precious little baby girl, the best thing that had ever happened to him, his greatest joy and pride…

His little Maka hated him. She _still_ hated him.

Spirit Albarn was convinced he was the worst kind of despicable hideous scumbag that ever existed. He had ruined everything, that he knew. There was no happily-ever-after for the Death Scythe, and he had come to accept that fact.

Last year had been the most stressful of his life: his marriage had officially ended, his Maka had grown into a young little missy that despised him and wanted nothing to do with him, and on top of that, the world had been _this_ close of coming to an end.

And yet, nothing of that mattered this night. It had nothing to do with having a woman underneath him, that was nothing new. Maybe he wasn't the best looking man, but he never had problems when it came to the opposite sex. Everybody knew that such _gift_ was the main reason of his divorce.

If it had been any other woman's sighs and moans and hot supple skin against him… then this night would have been the same as so many others, when he was just trying to _feel_ something or find some kind of comfort in the arms of a nameless lover. He treated his women good, _all_ of his women.

But this was not just _a_ woman. As a matter of fact, this was the _only_ woman he had been seeing in the last couple of months. Pretty hard to believe, isn't it? He couldn't even believe it himself. Eight weeks had gone by without Spirit Albarn flirting with any other lady. He had picked her up at a bar like he used to do. They talked, they drank, they laughed. They ended at her place. Maybe he shouldn't have approached her to start with; she was not much older than her Maka after all. You'll see, he immediately recognized her pretty face. He had taught her at Shibusen not that far along. 20 years old, barely legal, she even had to use a fake ID to get into said bar. He was pushing his forties, he was old enough to be her father.

What could he say? He liked them young. Sweeter, friskier, eager to learn…

Funny thing was, Spirit was the one that did all the learning that first time. She gave him the most exciting, wildest, fulfilling night of sex of his whole life. Never had he felt so free and uninhibited, not even when he was with Kami. Sex had always been good for him, but it wasn't until that night that he discovered how great it truly was. So amazing had the whole experience been that they decided to meet again. And again.

Before he knew it, he was dating her And he was enjoying it. Turned out to be that she was the loveliest person and such an enjoyable company…

Despicable hideous scumbag Spirit was becoming attached. He knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn't be doing this because he didn't deserve it. He wasn't supposed to be feeling like this.

And Maka? What will his precious Maka think about it? His heart ached just by thinking about it.

He had to end this.

But he couldn't.

It just felt so right…

He didn't want it to stop.

"… God, don´t stop…" And he could tell by her cry that she didn't want him to stop either. There she laid on her bed, her body fully exposed and vulnerable to him. Her skin glistened under the pale moonlight. Her lips half parted, her cheeks all flustered, her back arched and offering those succulent round breasts at him. He could do anything he wanted to her, and just imagining it made him hot all over his body...

"Don't stop what?" He smirked devilishly, licking his lips as he caressed her womanhood with such a fiery tempo that she was finding it hard to breath. "You'll have to be crystal clear, m' dear. It's hard to understand what you say with all those cute and sexy noises coming from your mouth." He teased her with husky voice, and couldn't resist the urge to run his tongue all over her round full breasts, finally capturing the hard rosy nipple between his lips, nibbling softly. He earned such an obscenely erotic moan that pure electricity spread all over his body, resulting in a finger that entered in her with one swift movement. He intended to tease her until she begged for _him_ to take her…

"Don't stop it! I want to come for you, _Sensei_!" Ahhh, Spirit could have finished right there. He loved it when she called him like that. Maybe if he were a little more impulsive, he would had spread her legs and pushed himself into her without mercy. But Spirit was no impatient rookie. He knew that the longer the wait, the more amazing the pleasure to come.

"But you _will_ come for me, my precious little slut. It's just that you'll do it when I say you can. All you can do right now is obey and enjoy…" He chuckled as a second finger found its way to her core, and his tongue traced a path from her nipple to her earlobe, leaving a glistening wet trace behind. "You are so wet, you love this, don't you?..." His hoarse whisper drove her mad, and her breathing became more and more erratic, as well as the rhythm with which her hips moved against his fingers. Indeed, Spirit's hand was completely covered in with sweet clear nectar. He could barely wait to taste her on his mouth…

But he would be patient. It was all part of the game.

"Say it to me. Say how much you love to know that big, strong, powerful Death Scythe Sensei looks at you and thinks about how many different ways he wants to fuck you… " He'd never dare to talk that way to Kami, or any other women he'd been with, even though he secretly always wanted to do. Nobody would be surprised to know that Kami hadn't been his first woman, but he had been her first man. He'd always seen her as something delicate and precious when they were in bed. And although Spirit had nothing against sweet lovemaking, he had to confess that his ex-wife, no matter how wonderful human being she was, was not very adventurous when it came to being intimate. He had this painful memory of one time that he gathered the courage to open up to Kami and tell her about his fantasies and desires. He will never forget the look on her face. It hurt so much to be rejected by her… and she rejected him indeed, not only in sex, but in so many other things. Spirit was a man of actions, he preferred them rather than words. So although Kami did tell him that she loved him, at the same time she avoided his attempts at being romantic, or became ashamed of his affection demonstrations… So he was a little over the top when it came to expressing his feelings. Was something wrong with that? He always knew Kami was quite shy and reserved, mainly because her own issues. And he had always been cool with that. Everybody had issues; it was not such a big deal. He still loved her with all his heart. But maybe if she had tried a little bit harder to make him feel loved and wanted in return…

Yet, he was well aware that he was doing the wrong thing by cheating on her. That was what made him such a horrible person. He knew the difference between right and wrong, and he still decided to betray Kami and Maka.

But now, the woman whose neck he was kissing and biting right now always made him feel as the most loved man in the world, either when welcoming him inside her body or when she locked her arms around him and kissed him softly, whispering sweet words in his ear. She didn't reject him. She wasn't ashamed of him. She always had a package of his favorite candy on her purse and a can of his favorite beer on her fridge. She always welcomed him with a smile and playfully massaged his scalp until he fell asleep on her arms.

And of course, she was always more than willing to roleplay for him. Of all her characters, he loved the slutty student the most…

"I don't hear you." He hissed possessively and licked her lips. "It'd be such a shame to have to fail you just because you're too shy to admit you want my cock inside you." Oh, how he enjoyed this! She could see it in the intense flame burning inside his green eyes. His whole blood boiled, and he was about to reach the limit of his patience. He kissed her, aggressive and demanding, and was pleased to feel her wrapping her beautiful legs around his waist, pulling him closer. He felt her one small delicate hand squeezing one of his buttcheeks, as well as five fingers burying on his hair, pushing his face to meet her in the most furious kiss they had shared.

"Say it to me or I won't ta-"

"Fuck me sensei." She said to his ear, making him feel hot all over. "_Fuck me now!_"

Their eyes met and they both smirked at each other. Neither of them could take it anymore. With one swift movement, he grabbed her by the ankles, placed her legs on his shoulders, and pushed himself in: hard, deep, fast, just what he needed to make her scream.

He was sure even the moon heard them. And that knowledge gave him great satisfaction, because at that moment, he could scream to the whole world that Spirit Albarn, Shinigami-sama's preferred weapon, felt as alive as he had ever been.

And it was all because of her; her and her intoxicating kisses that made him feel as if there was still hope for him.

******

He woke up around 5 in the morning, as he always did. Old habits are hard to break. It didn't matter that he was on summer vacations and didn't have to arrive at Shibusen so early, he always woke up at that hour; either he had some training programmed, a meeting, or he simply couldn't find the peace to fell asleep.

The last 8 weeks he had been sleeping as profoundly as a child. Much of it was because she wore him out every time they spent time together, which, he must say, was about 5 nights of the 7 that the week had.

First thing he saw when he opened his eyes was her beautiful face. After they both reached their peaks for the third or fourth time last night –oh yes, Spirit Albarn still got game-, she collapsed onto his arms. He embraced her lovingly, and it didn't take long for them to fell asleep.

He contemplated her in silence, meditating about what he had experienced this summer. Since Kami had Maka's custody, he had been preparing himself all year long so that when the moment came for his daughter to leave Death City and go with her mother for the whole summer, he wouldn't faint. However, it didn't matter how much he mentally prepared himself, it hurt just like hell to watch her go.

If only this woman cuddled against him truly knew how much she had made for him in just eight weeks…

It broke Spirits heart to have to end this.

Was he in love? He couldn't know. Or better explained, he didn't want to know. He knew he cared deeply for the blue eyed goddess whose bed he had been sharing all summer long. But if he opened himself too much, if he let himself feel too much…

Chances were he would probably screw things up all over again.

He knew that if he got too close to her he would end up screwing things all over again. They never discussed the status of their relationship. They never talked about making it exclusive or official. Until now, they had been only a pair of lonely souls that were having fun together and relieved each other's sadness.

Yet, both of them knew that they had so much potential of building something so amazing together…

It was just that Spirit was to scared to admit, and she wasn't going to force him to nothing.

If he couldn't make it work with Kami, whom he had believed would spend the rest of his life with, what where his chances of making it work now with this precious young lady?

Maka will never forgive him if he started a relationship with somebody else, he knew that for sure…

Spirit felt trapped. It was too much for him to handle, and didn't know what to do. As he gently placed a strand of chestnut hair behind her ear, he caressed her face and realized that although she had made him feel free and alive…

He was also suffocating. His whole reality was suffocating him. All he wanted was a woman to love and his daughter to love him.

Could he ever have that? Could Maka ever forgive him?

Maybe being alone was his punishment for hurting everything that he hold dear to his heart…

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he stared absently at the window.

He didn't notice that a pair of blue eyes was watching him cry in silence.

But he did feel the way she held him against her chest, whispering sweet loving words to his ear.

Giving him hope.

Was there still any hope left for him?

* * *

There we go! Thanks for reading, see you in next chapter ^^


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Soul Eater character; neither I make any profit with this story. All the praise and glory belongs to Atsushi Ookubo for creating such a wonderful story!

Author's note: Just for you to know, I'm not a native English speaker, so I apologize for any mistakes I do xD

* * *

He wasn't aware of when he had fallen asleep again, but once he opened his eyes, he found himself still on her bed, wrapped in blue sheets that still had impregnated a faint scent of flowers. However, what really caught his attention was that she wasn't sleeping next to him anymore. Spirit was about to panic, until he noticed another scent coming from downstairs. He wrapped the sheet around his waist and bolted to the kitchen. Sure, he almost tripped with a couple of steps, but there was no way he was going to wait any longer to get a bite of those sweet, delicious and fluffy "Waffles!" He chirped enthusiastically. His eyes immediately scanned the room and found a tower of buttery waffles, topped with whipped cream and strawberries. Girly breakfast his ass! That stuff was a little taste of heaven on his mouth!

Suddenly he felt her against his back. One of her hands was gently placed on his shoulder, and the other one offered him a cup of hot black coffee. Sweet Grimm Reaper, he felt like a King right now.

"Was 'bout time you got out of bed." She kissed his neck and Spirit sighed in delight, just letting her have her way with him.

"You made breakfast for me!" Happily he turned around –holding his cup, of course- to face her, placing a wide and somehow amusing smile on his face.

And there she was.

She wasn't what could be described as tall. Spirit was about a feet taller than her, and he found that just perfect. He didn't mind having to lean down to kiss her, and he enjoyed how her head rested on his chest every time he hugged her. Whenever he looked at her, the first thing that popped out and got his attention were her bright blue eyes (although he had to admit that sometimes the first thing he looked at were her breasts. Or her butt. It pretty much depended on whether she was facing him or not). Her skin was slightly more tanned than his, which wasn't weird. He had to admit he was actually kind of pale, perhaps because he was always clad in that black suit. He had to say that although he preferred women with long hair, those shoulder-length strawberry blonde waves suited her just right. She was wearing her hair tied up in a messy bun and, to his delight, she wore nothing else but his half buttoned white shirt…

She was simply breathtaking.

Her name was Crystal.

"Oh my, don't act as if it was that weird for me to cook." She arched a brow, and smirking, stood on her toes and poked Spirit's cheek. He reacted by attempting to bit her, but to be honest he didn't try that hard. Those waffles were calling his name so seductively! "Go on, you know you want to. Just eat them already before you start drooling on my floor." She giggled playfully, but was caught off guard when Spirit tilted his head, devouring her with his eyes before adding in a teasing low chuckle.

"I must say that drooling is a very plausible option. I take that you are not wearing anything underneath that shirt?" He scratched his chin as his smile became impish, but before his mind began to drown in the lovely curves of the lady standing in front of him, she placed a hand on his chest, and pushed him so he fell into a chair. "All right, all right, you win." He shrugged his shoulders, and it took him less than a second to stuff the first waffle onto his mouth. Tears of sheer happiness rolled down his eyes. He was a single man trying to survive after an 18 year old marriage. His diet consisted of nothing more than instantaneous soup-in-a-cup! Of course he was going to shove it all down and lick the dish clean!

"Sho ghooh!!" He shrieked, his mouth full of food. Crystal giggled and sat next to him. She reached for a glass of juice she had nearby, drinking a little. "You're not eating?" He managed to say clearly, after he had swallowed what was in his mouth.

"Nah, I already did. " Crystal replied and tilted her head. However, a little sigh escaped her moans. "Besides, you know I have to watch my carbs…"

Swallowing another big chunk of waffles and strawberries, Spirit rolled his eyes. "What's with women and their obsession with dieting anyways? You are perfect the way you are!" And to emphasize it, he pointed at her with his fork holding a strawberry. "Besides, you are going to get a lot of exercise now that you'll start at your new job. You'll be able to eat whatever you want and still burn it up, ne?" Oh yes, he was so wise. And now the strawberry that rested in the tip of his fork rested now in his stomach.

"I taught you already gave me all the exercise I needed." She glanced at him with mischievous eyes, causing Spirit to almost choke with his coffee.

"Aaa… bah…well… I… hee hee. I do, don't I?" Childishly blabbing Spirit blushed and scratched his cheek. Said cheek received a kiss, as Crystal got closer and slowly ran his fingers trough the strands of red hair. She could almost hear him purring like a content kitty.

He swore that sometimes she made him forgot he was 36 years old and made him feel like he were 16 again.

"Thanks for getting me that interview with Shinigami-sama, anyways."

"It was nothing, really. After all you graduated top of your class." He answered back in a happy murmur, tilting his head to her so she could do whatever she wanted with his hair. "Maybe you'll even find a new partner there. Your soul count is what? 88? 87?"

"83." She pouted. "I don't know… what are the chances I'll be able to get 16 more souls without a technician? Or kill a witch?"

"Don't worry, everything will work out." He finished what was left on his plate, and he literally could feel how his waist grew several inches. "You could always get those souls by yourself, right? It won't be the first time that a weapon works without a meister." Spirit crossed his arms and nodded, thinking about what he just said.

"Ehhh… I don't think I'm that good as a weapon." She confessed with a nervous giggle, and a couple of sweat droplets ran down the side of her head.

"None sense! You're special!" Spirit leaned back against his chair, chirping enthusiastically. However, his expression became serious all of a sudden, and he stared at a blank point in front of him.

Indeed, she was something special.

…

"You know Crystal… about earlier…" Suddenly, his voice sounded so… small. It was as if his whole confidence had abandoned his body.

"You don't have to say anything Spirit. It's ok." She smiled at him compressively. But he wouldn't listen to her this time. He had many things to say.

"Just… just listen to me, ok." It was time to man up. His left thumb and middle finger went to massage his temple. He was feeling really anxious at this moment, and he couldn't help to wonder if he was about to do the right thing.

He didn't want to hurt anybody again.

He didn't want to hurt her.

"_You are going to end up hating me, I'm sure." _He tried to say something, but panicked as he found out he had gone mute.

Somehow, she knew where the conversation headed, and her eyes seemed to sadden and lose their brightness. She always knew that things between them weren't going to last. He had been honest to her since day one, so she wasn't surprised.

Still hurt, tough.

He getting a job interview for her at Shibusen hadn't been the greatest idea, but he insisted he wanted to help her out. She'll simply have to avoid jumping into him in the hallways until she was trough the whole break up.

She sat in silence, waiting for him to say something, but he never did. He just lowered his head, as if he was trying to avoid her gaze.

"_Come on Spirit! Say something!"_ He tried! But the words wouldn't come out!

"It's ok Spirit, really." There was a faint smile on her lips. "I know your daughter is coming back next week. We had fun for a while." She sighed. "We can still be friends, right?"

"I… I don't want us…" He still wouldn't look at her eyes.

"Oh… I see." Well, she wasn't expecting that. She bit her lip, and since the room had became quite uncomfortable to be in, she grabbed Spirit's dish and headed to the sink.

She didn't expect the strong hand that grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back, making her sit on his lap. Crystal's eyes were wide open in surprise when he wrapped his arms around her waist, and rested his face on her bosom.

"I don't want us to be just friends." He said in the smallest voice, and held her tighter, trembling. "I want us to be _more_ than friends. I will try to… you know… not to… try to… AGH!" He yelled exasperated. He really meant it when he said she made him feel 16 years old all over again. He looked up at her, and she was surprised to see tears building up in his eyes. "I want to be a one-woman man. I really do."

He meant it. And he meant it too when he made Kami that promise.

But if he couldn't live up to that? Would Crystal also end up hating him? If the great Death Scythe was afraid of something, was hurting everyone he cared for. Loosing everyone he loved. Unfortunately, history had proved he was pretty damn good at it.

She cupped his face with both her hands, and looked at his eyes. She could see no evil on reflected on them.

"Are you sure, Spirit?"

"I am." He said. "Move in with me. My place is bigger; you'll be more comfortable there. You can even have the dog you wanted and your landlady didn't let you have! And I'll help you get those 17 souls you are missing. And we will spend every morning like this one, together..." She could almost hear his heartbeats, pleading her to say yes.

Moving in with him? That was such a huge step…

Was he really sure he could handle it? She wouldn't deny she wanted their relationship to be more than just bedbuddies. But if he wasn't prepared to take that decision and stick to it, she didn't mind waiting… better that than getting hurt.

Yet, she knew there was always a chance of getting hurt. But considering his situation…

"What about your daughter?" She knew how much Spirit loved her. He didn't bring her much to conversation when they were together; she didn't even know the girl's name. And apparently that was strange, since the ladies at the bar told her that all he used to do all day long was talk about her. Crystal taught she knew why Spirit didn't talk to her much about it. Not only did he missed her, but he was also terrified of his daughter's reaction if she found out he was having a semi-formal relationship…kind of… thing.

If he didn't talk to her about the most important thing on the world for him, was because that was the last barrier he could place between them. If he didn't talk to her about his daughter, then she'd never be really close to him, and so, it wouldn't hurt so much if he were to walk away someday because the little girl didn't liked the idea of having his daddy dating another woman.

Besides, Crystal wasn't sure she was ready to be anybody's setpmommy.

Yet, he was now asking her to move in together and try to make things work between them.

"We'll just… keep it a secret for a while. I'll talk to her, try to make her understand how I feel when I'm with you. She's a great girl. If she has still a little place in her heart for me, she'll understand…"

And if she didn't?

"_None sense Spirit. Your Maka will understand. She will understand_".

She closed her eyes and shook slowly her head. "So, you want to keep it discrete at the same time that we live and work together?"

"Strangest things have happened. You _do_ realize we transform into weapons that the Grimm Reaper itself uses in battle, right?"

"No, _you_ transform into the Reaper's favorite weapon. I just transform in a regular one that anybody can have." She grinned, but her eyes still reflected doubts.

"You're missing the point!" He cried. He could feel his whole body tense up with nerves and anxiety. Why on earth were relationships that complicated?

"Sorry." Crystal smiled sheepishly. He wasn't the only one with a lot of things going through his mind. She couldn't help to wonder what would happen if Spirit's daughter didn't approve their relationship. When it came to choose between the girl and her, Crystal knew she was in disadvantage.

However, at the end of the day, it all came down to a simple question.

"Do you really believe we can make it work?" She asked as blue eyes met green. He held her tighter against him, and hid his face in the curvature of her neck.

"I can't promise you I won't screw things up. But what I can promise is that I will try my best."

"Do you love me, Spirit?" Now it was her voice the one that was so small. She closed her eyes tightly, realizing she was afraid of that answer.

Did he love her? They had only been together for two months. Was that enough?

Was he ready to give his hearth to another one, knowing which where the risks?

Was she willing to take him, despite his oh, so many flaws, and the chances that he couldn't remain faithful?

Actions speak louder than words, they say. Gently, he cupped his chin and kissed her with a sweetness he hadn't showed to her yet. He was caring, he was loving, and he was surrendering his soul in that kiss. There wasn't a single hint of lust –or worse, hesitation- in the way his lips met hers…

After what seemed an eternity for both of them, they separated, and she looked at her. Her skin was all flushed, and her lips were still slightly open, since the sensation of his kiss still lingered on them.

Did he love her? "I… I think I do."

"… why?" She asked in a whisper. That was probably a cruel thing to be asked in his place, but she needed to know for sure that if they tried this now, they weren't doomed to imminent failure.

There was no trace of nervous or anxiety now. His eyes reflected such confidence, compared to the doubt and hurt that they had shown just a seconds later, that Crystal became confused.

"Because you make me feel like there is still hope for me to be happy."

That was all she needed to hear. This time she was the one reaching out for a kiss, and although her eyes were closed, she could feel when their lips met again that Spirit had the most beautiful smile traced on his face. Hands entwined, she rested her forehead on his, eyes still closed, but smiling.

"I love you too." She finally said, and he felt as if he could fly…

"Is that a yes?" He asked like a curious child, and that mischievous grin that she adored appeared again on his lips. "Uh? Uh? Will you move in with me?" She laughed, and he taught he had never heard something that beautiful, perhaps only excluding Maka's first laugh.

"Yes, you dummy. I will move in with you." And that was her final answer. She was exposing herself to great probabilities of getting hurt in so many ways, but at her eyes, he was worth it. What if he had a record as a serial womanizer? What if she wasn't ready to deal with a daughter? What if the little girl ended up hating her and made their life miserable? The beautiful thing about being young, was that there only existed one tense to worry about: the present.

He swept her off her feet and carried her bridal style, twirling around the small department with her in his arms as if they were a couple of kids goofing around. Between kisses and laughter, she didn't notice that he had so cleverly tossed her on the couch.

"You know, you never answered me." He cocked an eyebrow and then wiggled both of them in a silly manner.

"What do you mean? I just told you I loved you and I'll move in with you!" She replied amused, but when his smile acquired a more seductive tone, she blushed.

"Not that. You never answered me if you were wearing anything underneath my shirt." He whispered on her ear, and his hand found its way up her thighs with such a torturing slow pace that she could literally feel her body temperature rising degree by degree.

The sheet that was wrapped around his waist didn't last there much longer either.


End file.
